What are the warning signs I should be looking for?

This list identifies a series of behaviors typically demonstrated by batterers and abusive people. All of these forms of abuse – psychological, economic, and physical – come from the batterer’s desire for power and control. The list can help you recognize if you or someone you know is in a violent relationship. Check off those behaviors that apply to the relationship. The more checks on the page, the more dangerous the situation may be.

Emotional & Economic Attacks

  • Destructive Criticism/Verbal Attacks: Name-calling; mocking; accusing; blaming; yelling; swearing; making humiliating remarks or gestures.
  • Pressure Tactics: Rushing you to make a decision through “guilt-tripping” and other forms of intimidation; sulking; threatening to withhold money; manipulating the children; telling you what to do.
  • Abusing Authority: Always claiming to be right (insisting statements are “the truth”); bossing you around; making big decisions; using “logic.”
  • Disrespect: Interrupting; changing topics; not listening or responding; twisting your words; putting you down in front of other people; saying bad things about your friends and family.
  • Abusing Trust: Lying; withholding information; cheating on you; being overly jealous.
  • Breaking Promises: Not following through on agreements; not taking a fair share of responsibility; refusing to help with child care or housework.
  • Emotional Withholding: Not expressing feelings; not giving support, attention, or compliments; not respecting feelings, rights, or opinions.
  • Minimizing, Denying, & Blaming: Making light of behavior and not taking your concerns about it seriously; saying the abuse didn’t happen; shifting responsibility for abusive behavior; saying you caused it.
  • Economic Control: Interfering with your work or not letting you work; refusing to give you or taking your money; taking your car keys or otherwise preventing you from using the car; threatening to report you to welfare or other social service agencies.
  • Self-Destructive Behavior: Abusing drugs or alcohol; threatening suicide or other forms of self-harm; deliberately saying or doing things that will have negative consequences (e.g., telling off the boss).
  • Isolation: Preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives; monitoring phone calls; telling you where you can and cannot go.

Programs

DVRC provides a comprehensive range of services for victims of domestic violence and their children, including a confidential Safe Home, Transitional Housing and Permanent Supportive Housing units, a Helpline & Drop-In Center, Support Groups, One-on-One Counseling and Court Advocacy.

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How To Help

Volunteers are an integral part of our team, and help in a variety of ways through time, talent or treasure. Opportunities include work within our Drop-In Center, hosting an event, or making a gift, which directly impacts the clients we serve.

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Donate

All of our services – residential, counseling, court advocacy – are provided free of charge to all of our clients regardless of their financial situation. Your gift allows us to continue this life-saving work by directly assisting clients and their children who are experiencing domestic violence.

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Safety Planning

WHAT IS A SAFETY PLAN?
A safety plan is a set of actions that can help lower your risk of being hurt by your partner. It includes information specific to you and your life that will increase your safety at school, home, and other places that you go on a daily basis.

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